The 4 Tendencies (Family Edition)
You all know I love reading/listening to personal development! I fully enjoyed Gretchen Rubin's book, "The Four Tendencies". As I was listening to this one, I couldn't help but nod my head as she was going through each tendency and identify which one my husband, my kids and myself all fall under. It's really helped with how I communicate with all my boys and check myself sometimes in different situations. This is something I use with my Whole30 clients as well. Knowing if someone is motivated more so by internal and external expectations is a great way to establishing new habits. Here's which tendency we all fall under in my family:
Emily--The Obliger:
An Upholder wants to meet outer and inner expectations. This is SO me. I'm all about setting my own goals and sticking with them. However, I'm also a people pleaser. I really like to meet or exceed expectations and like to go above and beyond for others.
Dustin--The Upholder & Questioner:
My husband as an Upholder doesn’t need much external motivation…he sets a goal and lives up to that expectation internally with no problem. He’s also a Questioner too. A Questioner meets their own expectations and doesn't really worry about the external expectations. There are no grey areas--everything is black and white and needs to make sense. He's not a big fan of chaos and like to get things done in a timely manner.
Dylan--The Obliger:
As I already mentioned about myself, an Obliger is all about the outer expectations. OMG, Dylan (my oldest son) is such a rule follower. He gets upset if we go over the speed limit and if on the kids menu it's 9 and under (he's 10), there is absolutely no way he can order off of it.
Tyler--The Rebel:
The Rebel, Tyler. If you know Tyler then you're not surprised. We've always said what a joyful & confident kid he is and how he marches to the beat of his own drum.
I'd encourage you to check this book out as well and see which tendency you and your family fall under!